Growing Up (10), a true kind of short love story

Life lessons

According to the PNAS, the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, humans 'have a moral conscience and are responsible for our decisions, whereas animals act on instinct and lack the same moral judgment capacity''. However, these decisions are significantly shaped by their background, experiences, and environment. Unfortunately, despite all the tools of modern convenience, humans often prefer to act on instincts rather than reasoning, which, blurs the above mentioned distinctions and pull themselves down to a lower animals.

While the human nature should have empathy and compassion, some commentator on X or Twitter ex-President Biden's cancer 'should grow up his a*s', despite knowing how terrible this disease is. Cancer is an uncontrolled cell growth and division which can spread to other parts, it is leading to abnormal cells that grow and invade surrounding tissues. In my non-professional opinion, the body eats itself in unbearable pain the end - and still humans wish it to others out of pure hate!

Throughout history, education, defined as 'the transfer of knowledge, skills, and character traits in various forms,' has been highly valued and sought after by those who could afford it. I was fortunate to grow up in Germany, where free education is highly valued—my parents never paid a cent for kindergarten, elementary, junior high, and even part-time business school. Additionally, the government provided us children with monthly child care and affordable housing. However, despite this wonderful environment, my parents struggled to provide us with a safe environment where we could grow up as carefree children. As a result of WWII, they were deprived of formal schooling, and it is possible that their own parents did not take their responsibilities toward them seriously.

I must admit that, as a child, I didn't fully grasp the significance of a 'proper' education, even though I had a desire to explore beyond what was immediately around me. During my teenage years, my grades significantly dropped due to my deteriorating eyesight, which hindered my ability to see clearly. I resorted to copying what the teacher wrote on the blackboard from my classmate's notebooks. I informed my mother, but she attributed it to the books I was reading in poor lighting, on which she economized. She considered glasses too expensive and postponed getting them for about two years, until my teacher reached out to her. Once my vision was corrected, my grades improved...

Because my mother intended to leave once her children became independent, she did not permit me to attend university, which was a significant blow for me. But I didn't give up and made efforts to educate myself in different ways. I devoured newspapers, magazines, and books, and learned to focus while others were speaking. Soon I realized not to take for granted everything that others were saying, writing, or doing. Given the German Nazi history, I became particularly cautious about what others say, claim, or present to the audience. Even today, and particularly on social media, there are many people twisting the truth, using bullying tactics to intimidate, and disrespecting people just to get their own false and unjust agenda across.

Before engaging with social media and reaching out to people you will never meet, you have to be warned that there are many irrational people out there. Even you try to be good and positive, there are always people to put you down and let you feel bad. It is 'natural' when someone calls me "stupid old man, ride away," which I don't take as a personal result. It is more a sign of insecurity and irrationality, as many of these individuals resort to insults rather than acknowledging that they have hit a dead end or are mistaken. Especially during the presidencies of Donald Trump there is a clear pattern how these people work. They lie, and when they are caught, they don't admit but change the subject and talk so detailed about the other theme that you will forget their lies. A person like the president does not have friends but he surrounds himself with useful people he can use. And when they disagree, they literally work on their destruction!

There are multiple reasons why I chose not to take the easier path of following in the footsteps of my alcoholic father to become a chain smoker who spends money on women like he did. I resisted becoming a violent Nazi like my mother, who idolized a man with a very flawed ideology yet couldn't love her own children. Despite growing up in a hostile environment, I strove to be true to myself and stay positive, improving myself while contributing positively to society—building up instead of destroying. How I found my own way during these challenging childhood and teenage years, and what helped me stay on the right track while many others strayed, spending their time aimlessly chasing false idols and misguided objectives.

My purpose in writing isn't to promote myself or increase my follower count. I seek to inspire, encourage, and support others as they confront life's many challenges. Essentially, if someone criticizes or scolds you, don't let it bring you down. Instead, try to understand the reasons behind their negativity or bullying, and focus on bettering yourself. If the criticism holds truth, view it as a chance to learn and grow.

Avoid using other people's problems as a reason to harm yourself or make poor choices. Stay clear of cheap excuses like drugs and alcohol, they only help you to escape but don't solve anything. Instead, confront the enemies and embrace life and discover the endless opportunities beyond the familiar dark horizon—you can turn anything into something very positive.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

A child of God - learn to love yourself

My earliest memories involve rejection, being unwanted, being disrespected, coupled with physical and psychological abuse starting with both of my parents. Soon I realized that refusals continued with my aunts and uncles, my grandmother, even many neighbors and friends of my parents.

These experiences can drive you to the edge of believing you truly are (!) 'a failure' and 'have no reason to live', as my mother repeatedly instilled in my young mind. Only after attending the youth group in the church I learned that

''God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them."

(Genesis 1:27)".

The first time I heard these beautiful words they cut right into my young heart and I was moved to silent tears which some ran right down my face. I embraced them as a source of comfort and protection against any negativity aimed at my existence, insults no longer impacting me from then onwards. Over time, I learned not to take them seriously and let them affecting me; I started to see disrespect as a means for angry and envious individuals to vent their own frustrations.

Believe it or not, after understanding and accepting 'being a child of God', my initial anger and frustrations turned into something very powerful. I began to feel pity for my violent parents not realizing the same as me. Why should God punish his own creation? Isn't it that the humans themselves refuse to believe and choose not to live according to Him but rather than their own human standards and natures?

'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future' (Jeremiah 29:11).

The words from the Bible felt so different and refreshing compared to my mother's Nazi teachings and my young mind felt not only betrayed and deceived by her. She deeply hurt me with the questioning, 'why do you live while Goethe (a famous German poet) had to die?' As an adult, why do you intentionally cause your child distress, harming them due to your own shortcomings and failures?

God gave me words of clear hope for a promised future, even though my own mother questioned my reasons for living! I couldn't believe that God or the Bible was mistaken, so I decided to find refuge in Him rather than spending time with angry and frustrated individuals. I didn't become isolated but was instead selective about companionship, ensuring it guided me towards the light and not back to a dark chapter of my life.

If you are a person bullied by others please don't listen to the garbage of uneducated people but accept that you are unique, a child of God. Do not give up to believe in the sunshine after heavy clouds and even heavy rain pouring you! There is someone much more powerful, mightier on your side, "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Don't be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8."

'Walk on thru the wind

walk on thru the rain,

For your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, walk on,

With hope in your heard

And you'll never walk alone

Forgive

From the outside, it might not be obvious that I discovered God, and my relationship with my parents remained the same. They seemed to have accepted their lives, but as someone growing up, I was still searching and trying to find my own way. Even though both of them made the first 20 years of my life miserable, it took me some years to find the power to forgive my parents and pray for their souls in Christ. As Jesus endured the cross, he said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing (Luke 23:34)." I went through pain and suffering due to my parents, and letting go was hard and challenging, but finally I chose to followed Christ and gave in.

Many Bible verses emphasize the need and importance for forgiveness, and in my own experience, a heavy burden was lifted off my shoulders. I felt light and free to focus on what I have, what drives me forward rather than what holds me back. I used this newfound freedom not for grudges or biases, but to thank God, to learn, grow, and improve so I could positively influence others.

"14 For if you forgive others people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive yours sins." (Matthew 6)

Forgiveness is challenging because your heart and mind often disagree—this is part of human nature. However, considering the advantages it brings to your life, isn't it worthwhile?

(to be continued)